Thursday, February 6, 2014

This is harder than I imagined

I am now four days into my return to work (from home) and I'm ready to apply for another four weeks of disability leave! I am exhausted and feel like I could sleep for the rest of the winter (which, the way this winter is going isn't a bad idea). Apparently, using your brain to do things like organize the closet and make dinner and do crossword puzzles is much different than using your brain at work.

Part of my issue is that I have a very black & white personality and don't really know how to do anything part way. So, in my mind, a return to work also means a return to my regular work routine which goes something like this: get up at 4:30/5am and work out; quickly eat breakfast and then hit the work e-mail; work straight through the rest of the day until I go to bed at 9 or 9:30pm (sometimes with a break around 6:30pm to make dinner). I tried that for a couple of days, and well, I'm definitely not ready for a return to the old routine quite yet. So, I'm re-setting expectations for the next few weeks until I'm closer to "normal" (and/or ready for surgery #2). I still plan to return to the office next week but will also keep a couple of work-from-home days to ease the transition. I also need to do a better job of setting my computer, iPhone and iPad aside at an earlier time to give my brain some time to rest. I've started getting horrible headaches this week and I think I've been running on overload!

On a positive note, my physical strength is continuing to improve. So far this week I've managed 45 minutes on my bike trainer, some simple strength/core work and two walk/runs (intervals of 2' run/3' walk). So, let me tell you about what happened on my Wednesday morning run:

I actually had about a minute - a full minute! - where I felt completely normal!

I was walking/running around the indoor track at our gym listening to my headphones. I think I got lost in the moment (I was running at the time) listening to my music. I suddenly realized that for the first time since my surgery I was not thinking about how weird/uncomfortable I felt and my running stride felt pretty natural too! It was glorious! I am hoping for many more of these moments, and then eventually days, to come!

Hope you are all having a great week!

-- HER

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